“The fiscal cliff agreement created a set of economic events that were supposed to be so undesirable to both Republicans and Democrats that they would be certain to enact different and more palatable reforms in order to stop the nation tumbling over the cliff.” – Dr. Merkwürdigliebe, German Economist
Almost exactly like this, in fact:
So America may have come top of the official 2012 Olympics medal table, both for gold medals and medals overall, but that only tells part of the story. If we adjust for the population of each country, a very different story emerges. The following table shows gold medals won at the 2012 London games per million citizens of each country listed. Minimum four gold medals for inclusion in the table, which means that we included the top twenty gold medal winning nations.
The conclusions?
2012 Olympic Gold Medals Won per Million Population:
How does Usain Bolt like his donuts?
1. Neva Getova – High Jump (competed for the Soviet Union at the 1972 Munich Olympics)
It looks like she did get over this time.
2. Hup Schtepanjupp – Triple Jump (captained the Netherlands’ athletes at the 1924 Paris Olympics)
3. Chuck Speer – Javelin (competed for the United States of America at the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics)
4. Sandy Foote – Beach Volleyball (represented Canada at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics)
5. Fleur O’Teene – Gymnastics (competed for the Republic of Ireland at the 1996 Atlanta games)
1. Synchronized driving: two athletes drive identical cars around identical race tracks at the same time while avoiding identically placed obstacles. The drivers are judged on how closely their laps match up. The degree of difficulty can be increased by selecting hard to control vehicles, including the Reliant Robin, a 1978 Buick LeSabre, or any Toyota manufactured in 2010.
A “Reliant” Robin
2. Synchronized driving: two athletes hit one golf ball each down the same fairway from golf tees set 20 feet apart. Points are awarded for similar shot timing, ball trajectories, and the final position of each golf ball. The degree of difficulty can be increased if the golfers elect to be blindfolded, use a putter to strike the tee shot, or be paired with Jean Van Der Velde.
3. Synchronized deriving: two athletes simultaneously solve identical differential equations. A panel of international mathematicians awards points based on how quickly the two athletes arrive at the same solution. Additional points can be awarded if both athletes satisfy the Liebniz Rule at the same point in their calculations, though adherence to the Jacobi identity is a prerequisite for additional points to be awarded.
The 1786 Dowsing World Championships were a tense affair.
4. Synchronized divining: two athletes attempt to determine what score the panel of judges will award them by fashioning two dowsing rods into a pair of crude pendulums. Additional points can be awarded if the athletes simultaneously predict the same, correct, score. However, if any additional points are awarded they will render the original prediction incorrect and thus disqualify the athletes.
5. Synchronized, synchronized diving: two pairs of athletes, each in a different stadium, simultaneously perform dives. Judges pay no attention to discrepancies between the dives of each diver in a pair, but instead award points based on how similar the pairs of dives are to each other. However, video technology is not permitted and the judges must award points based only on their initial observation of each dive. The logistical difficultly that this rule presents are yet to be overcome by this otherwise hugely popular sport.
Why so exclusive, Euro 2012?
Yes, you heard right. The USA should be taking part in UEFA Euro 2012, the world’s second largest football tournament after the FIFA World Cup.
Euro 2012 kicked off today in Warsaw as co-host Poland began their campaign against the 2004 champions, Greece (I feel like Greece ought to be focused on some of its more pressing problems – like who’s going to pay the mortgage this month – but apparently they have time for one last hurrah before they become a wholly-owned subsidiary of der Bundesrepublik Deutschland).
Also participating are many of the globe’s strongest footballing nations: Spain, the Netherlands, France, England, Portugal, and our friends der Bundesrepublik Deutschland, to name just a handful. Because of what can only be described as geographical fascism, however, nations like Brazil, Argentina, and the USA are arbitrarily excluded from the Euro 2012 tournament. Continue reading
1. dogadoptions.com: “Breed, size, and temperament of dog may differ from photo. No returns.”
2. thevatican.com: “Actual trespasses may not be forgiven.”
3. pyramidtrader.com: “Value of securities may fluctuate as we divert funds to pay off long-term investors who have become suspicious about our investment practices.”
4. greece.com: “Checks may not be honored.”
5. facebook.com: “See that little webcam above your computer screen? We’re watching you.”
Picture the scene: an implausibly wide-eyed child sitting on his grandfather’s knee on the porch of a white picket fenced house. Gramps is telling Little Timmy that Timmy’s mother grew up in that very same house. Just as you wrongly assume that you’re watching a Werther’s Original commercial, Gramps hits you with a wistful stare into the middle distance as innocent Little Timmy blurts “I’m gonna have a house like this one day.” What’s Gramps staring at? People across the street moving out! Then it hits you: R E A L T O R S!!!! And you throw up.
Don’t believe me? Try watching this without feeling at least a little bit sick:
That’s right: leave it to the realtors to take advantage of the housing crisis they helped create in order to remind us of how much we need them to cream a few thousand dollars off the top every time someone buys a house. Let’s compare and contrast their latest ad with some snippets from this TV spot they were running back in 2007, just as the housing bubble was set to burst. Continue reading
Recently released papers from the archives of Britain’s Foreign and Commonwealth Office provide a fascinating insight into communications between the leaders of Europe’s three great powers and Italy in the build up to World War Two. In a surprise to many historians, the documents also reveal that British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain and his French counterpart Edouard Daladier were using an early form of e-mail to communicate with Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.
What follows is an email conversation between the four leaders that took place immediately after the 1938 Munich Agreement, which ceded parts of Czechoslovakia to Germany on the understanding that Germans would renounce any further territorial claims beyond their eastern border. [Note that unlike today's email systems, 1930s email would place the most recent messages at the bottom of the page, which was inconvenient at the time but makes for much easier reading on a website almost 80 years later...] Continue reading
Camembert won the first round with 29% of the vote
Paris, April 22, Associated Press: Amid chaotic scenes in Paris this evening, Camembert and Brie appear to have been the top vote-getters in the first round of the French Presidential election, with 29% and 28% of the vote respectively. The result is a surprise to most observers of French politics, who had anticipated a run-off between socialist Francois Hollande and incumbent Nicolas Sarkozy. The run-off election is on May 6 when more cheesy jokes are expected.
Brie finished a close second on 28%.
